The Pengy Tumblr The whims and waffs of Julie "Pengys" Life

March 15, 2009 


JOURNAL OF HEALING

Welcome to my journal of healing. Since my last update, I have added another section (on a separate journal book) to my Pray Journal, call “Gratitude Journal”.  I list everything, big or small that I am thankful for, in the morning or before I go to bed. I focus and reflect on what I have, blessing or answers to prayers. So (for example)  instead of praying, “please let my cancer go away,”, I say, “thank you for health, blessings and happiness”. 

UPDATE:
I have now completed five sessions of  aggressive chemotherapy. I have three more to go. It has been grueling experiences. I am on three weeks cycle. Little time for the body  to recuperate.Thanks to Zofran, an anti-emetic drug that helps me from being nauseated and neupogen shots to boost my bone marrow to reproduce white blood cells. Sometimes my WBC and RBC is dangerously low. Most of the time, Charlene is with me during treatment and she give me comfort. She does her homework. I sit on a reclining chair with my pillow and favorite blanket for 5 to 7 hours for 2 days. I bring books with me, write or listen to music from Charlene’s i-pod. Sometimes too sick to do anything. But always inspired and encouraged by your prayers and loving thought.

I am still on Coumadin (blood thinner) and its been hard to be on “green” juice diet, because of  their Vit K. content. I am learning a lot about cancer diet through books and internet. China Study is one of them.

My doctor have requested PET/CT Scan. I was told this machine is excellent in scanning my  full body for any traces of tumor.  I will update you with result.

MY ALTAR:
The newest  project that I created is my Sacred Altar. I got this inspiring, brilliant idea from Kris Carr by reading her best-selling book ”Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor’.  She is my hero, a super rare-cancer survivor. She did a documentary film of her journey.

My makeshift altar is the top of my  dresser. It is covered with a “sarong’ that I used to carry Charlene up, slung to my body when she was a baby. Everything on the altar has meaning and reflects power for myself. I have a power bowl that holds precious treasures and special gifts from family and friends. Photographs of my family and friends, cards from special people, picture of Jesus the good shepherd, Bible promises.  Each sacred object tell stories, feeling and connection, carries its own unique and precious energy. Like Kris, “at my altar, my  feeling opens to receive nourishment, to celebrate, to mourn, to receive and to give, to be with myself”. It is there that I pray for guidance and inner peace to carry on. Meditating and praying intimately to our Mighty God for healing. I lift my financial burden, my future and my precious daughter in His care. God allows me to cry, to be sad and angry. But He is never far away to comfort me. Holy spirit and angels are with me.

I imagine God’s love wrap around me like a blanket warm and snugly. Also, I imagine  being kept in God’s pocket near His heart. and I hear the rhythm of his heart beat and I feel so secure in His everlasting love.


I AM GRATEFUL:
My dear family and friends, I owe it to you all. Mark 7:7 “Seek and you will find….”  I found SpiritFruit Love and Kindness from my family scattered all over USA.  My precious daughter, my co-survivor, has been challenged emotionally, went through deep sense of helplessness. I feel her pain. Our motto, “YOUR MAMA IS A FIGHTER” hung on the wall, challenge us.  Masnie, my little sister, in Malaysia stays until 1:00 AM every Sat. night, sharing sweet sisterly talk via Skype and pray the most sincere, heartfelt prayer in our language. My niece and cousins visit and cook for me. Family lend their helping hand by their contribution in monetary

My heartfelt appreciation to my precious best girl friends who are with me through thick and thin. God opened their hearts overflowing with kindness and love. They are the answers to my prayers providing me comfort. They made delicious soup, bought groceries, sent special breakfast, made loaf, brought beautiful flowers, carrot  juice, Ensure, soy milk and many more. Friends from all over the world sent me hopeful e-mail, encouraging and promising to pray. Beautiful cards continues to come. Phone calls. Provided transportation and stayed with me during my therapy. You all are the best. I can never repay your kindness but God will.

When I hit rock-bottom financially, my church, Garden Grove SDA church is incredibly generous in helping me pay my rent. Church family is always warm, keeping me in their prayers. Coworkers at Orangewood Academy donated their Medical Leave pay towards my salary. Last but not least, my choir family, they boost my immune system, always praying, warm and loving and blessing to sing with. I am grateful to God for being the great Healer and provider of miracles.

I have so much to be thankful. For cancer is so limited….
It cannot cripple love,
it cannot shatter hope,
It cannot corrode faith,
It cannot destroy peace,
It cannot kill friendship,
It cannot suppress memories,
it cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul,
It cannot steal God’s gifts of eternal life,
It cannot quench the Holy Spirit,
It cannot lessen the power of the resurrection.
———Author Unknown

THROUGH PRAYER, GOD MAKES THE IMPOSSIBLE, POSSIBLE. Keep on praying.

My sincere thanks.

Love

Julie Gibbs

PS:  Charlene had her first open water scuba diving at Catalina Is. last Friday. She is taking Scuba diving Class at Fullerton College. I am proud of her.